Imposter Syndrome as a 2nd Gen Immigrant

On first glance, it may look like imposter syndrome has little to do with being a child of immigrants. Sure, you lack some confidence in speaking your mind–what does have to do with your parents not being born here? But scratch a little deeper and you might find some overlap. Your parents were taught to keep their heads down, work hard and make sure you got a good education to guarantee success, which was also the message they passed on to you. You were the golden ticket to validate crossing borders and giving up their homeland. 

And it’s true–you have worked hard, gone to the esteemed schools, gotten the credentials to score the prized jobs. You knew how to keep the peace, show your expertise without showing off, but inside, you secretly wondered. Was it good enough? You’re used to letting others be in the spotlight and get the praise, but now you wonder if you’ve shot yourself in the foot. Can people tell the amazing work you’re doing? (Or is it even all that amazing to begin with? Who’s fooling herself?)

Or maybe you have landed your dream job and can’t believe they entrust you to get the crucial things done. Part of you knows you’re freakin’ incredible at what you do, and part of you worries that the charade will be revealed any minute now. You’re clamming up in meetings, afraid to speak your opinion. The stakes have never been higher.

If you grew up with conflicting messages from school/world and home, no wonder you’re confused. In one world, you were taught to believe in yourself, showcase your brilliance, and be proud of yourself. In the other, you were taught to be humble, give deference to authority, and prioritize collective good. In American culture where self-promotion seems required, how can you show up as your whole, professional self without coming across as delusional and staying grounded?

There’s good news here. These questions are an invitation to get to know yourself, your body. As you dig deeper into the roots of your fears in therapy, you’ll find spaciousness to be curious with all the feels that show up. May you find liberation to be your whole self here.